I’m not sure how this blog post is going to go since I don’t share my kids’ names online. We’ll see if I can write it the way I think I can write it!
The main reason why I don’t share their names on my blog is because I don’t want my blog tied to my kids’ names in Google searches when they get older. I also just don’t like the idea of random people knowing their names. I mean, let’s be honest, I know about 99% of the people who read this little blog in real life, but still. It’s just my comfort level.
When I was pregnant with my first baby, there were so many names that absolutely loved. Nick hated all of them. I liked more earthy, hippy-ish names. Nick liked more old-fashioned names. I thought that it was important for my daughter’s name to have a special meaning attached to it. Nick didn’t.
One thing that we agreed on was that we didn’t want to name our kids after anyone in particular. We both wanted to give them a name that would give them their own identity and send them on their own path. I wrote a post about my name and how I’m named after my great-grandma, and I love that story, but I still didn’t want to name my kids after anyone. I have a few family members that I was close to who passed away and I briefly thought about naming my daughter after them, but I decided that it would be too difficult for me to be saying their names all day long.
Nick didn’t like most of the names I suggested when we found out we were having a girl. I got kind of annoyed with him because I felt like he wasn’t being open-minded at all. So I told him he needed to make his own list. “You make a list and see how hard it is!”
We both made lists. We looked at each other’s lists. I tried to convince Nick that the names on my list were better than the names on his list. He didn’t agree. We had a lot of “discussions” about names that went absolutely nowhere and it was really frustrating.
There was one name that we both kept coming back to over and over. It was a name on my list initially, but Nick also put it on his list. It didn’t have a special meaning. It was just a name that we both liked. I had always loved this name. I think I kind of always knew it would be the name in the back of my mind.
By the time I was 9 months pregnant, we didn’t want to totally commit, but we knew which one we were leaning towards.
The name had become kind of a topic of contention. Neither of us liked talking about it. So I didn’t dare bring up the topic of middle names until I think a day or two before I went into labor. I was adamant that the baby’s middle name should have some sort of important meaning to it, especially since her first name was most likely going to be “the only name we could agree on.” Nothing really special or meaningful.
Nick disagreed, again, and said we should just pick a middle name that sounded nice. I had a bunch of ideas for the middle name that I had been thinking about but he didn’t have any.
When I was in labor, we pretty much agreed on M’s first name. I looked at him in a panic and said, “but what’s her middle name going to be?!” And he calmly said, “you pick.”
So there is the secret to getting the name you want — just wait until you are in labor. Once your partner sees how much pain you are in, they will have no choice but to let you choose!
I instantly knew what her middle name would be because I had been thinking about it a lot. The middle name that I chose had a very special meaning to me. More to me than to Nick. And I think that’s okay. It’s a special message that I want her to take with her wherever life takes her.
I didn’t even want to think about names until we found out B’s gender because I knew it was going to be an ordeal again.
I was elated when I found out we were having another girl, but I was really worried about choosing her name. We barely were able to come up with one girl’s name we both could agree on. How the heck would we come up with another?
I looked back at the list I had made when I was pregnant with M. Nothing on that list looked right at all so I scrapped it and looked at names all over again. I made a new list. Nick did too. Once again, Nick hated all of my names. And I hated all of his.
But. He he had one name on his list that stood out to me. It was a name that I never would have considered, never would have thought he would have considered either. But the more I looked at that name, the more I thought about it, the more it felt right. It’s a beautiful name on its own but it also has a special meaning. I sensed that not everyone would like it, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn’t care.
Our conversations about B’s name were again heated. We just kept vetoing each other’s names. Eventually I had Nick and I rank the names on each of our lists and then I did some weird complicated thing to figure out what each of our top few names were. Any names that either of us ranked at the bottom, I took out of the running. It only seemed fair that we each should get as many vetos as we wanted.
We looked at the list that had the names we both liked. We narrowed it down to three. Nick said he would be equally happy with any of the three names, so I should pick. I knew which one I wanted. I picked the name that had stood out to me from the beginning, for no particular reason at all.
Since Nick had already established that I picked the middle name of our kids, I didn’t even ask his opinion. I had been thinking about her middle name for months because I knew I got to pick it. I picked something that has a special meaning to me, something I want her to take with her through her entire life. I really love both of my kids’ first names, but the meaning that their middle names have is really special to me. It’s a gift from me to them. The reasons for their middle names aren’t obvious, but they will know the meaning they hold for me.
I don’t know if that is helpful to anyone looking to name their kids, but I always wanted to write this. I just didn’t know if I could write it without actually giving my kids’ names. Thanks for reading.
If you want to talk about names, send me a message! I love talking about it.