August 2, 2018

Aloha from New York! I’ve been here for a few weeks now. So let’s head to Dunkin Donuts and have a chat!

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that my mom came to Hawaii to visit me and then I flew back to New York with her. We had the best time reading at the pool, making food, shopping, and relaxing doing absolutely nothing. She got to meet all of my friends which was really great. A few of my friends had their parents in town and we all got together. It was so special to meet everyone’s families.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that while I’ve been back, I was able to visit my friend who lives in Florida for a few days. I met her in Hawaii 5 years ago and even though we’ve gone our separate ways, I’ve been able to visit her a few times. Once I even visited her in Hawaii! She is the person I go to for all of my military spouse advice — and life advice in general. I loved spending time with her and her family and I am so grateful to them for hosting me.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that being in New York has been great. I was able to see my friend’s 3-month-old baby, enjoy time with my family, and just kind of take a break from everything. I went to a Yankee game with my family, to my favorite stores, and to my favorite places to eat. It’s been a good few weeks here.

It will be hard to get back because it still feels like we have so much time left of deployment. But luckily for me, I have a friend flying back to Hawaii with me! It would be hard to go from spending every night hanging out with my parents to a house by myself, so I’m excited to have her with me for a while. Since I showed you a picture of my mom and me, here’s one of my dad and me. We took a ride out to the eastern part of Long Island.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I’ve been having my moments of deployment-sucks-and-its-going-to-last-forever. Deployment sucks. The longer deployment goes on, the more frequent these moments seem to be.

Every time someone says something like, “it’s going so fast!” or “it’s not so bad,” I get so upset. I wish people would think before they speak, try to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Time might be flying for you, but it doesn’t fly during deployment, no matter how great you are doing. Not being able to talk to Nick has been wearing on me.

And while I know that there are many things worse than a submarine deployment, it’s still hard. Sometimes you want your feelings validated or just to hear, “yeah, that sucks.” I’m making the most of deployment but there are hard days.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I’m planning a big trip for after Nick gets home from deployment. We’re going to celebrate him coming home, obviously, but also our 5 year wedding anniversary! We’re going to New Zealand and Australia. Nick and I went to New Zealand for our honeymoon and we loved it so much. We decided to go back while we live in Hawaii and are so close. We haven’t been to Australia yet so that is really exciting too!

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that we have to start thinking about where we are moving next. I have no idea where we are going yet, but we have to start looking at where we want to go. On one hand, it will be nice to move back to the mainland to be closer to family. On the other, the thought of leaving my friends here makes me cry. Hawaii has become my home. I don’t know if anywhere will ever feel the same, both because of the people I’ve met here and because I’ve lived in Hawaii for so long. It’s where we started our marriage. I have memories and people and roots here now.

On that note, I’d ask you what’s new in your world?


14 responses to “New York Coffee Date”

  1. Audrey says:

    It seems like your heart is being pulled in a million directions! Between deployment woes and missing Nick and seeing your family (and leaving your family) and planning for the future, you have A LOT going on. I’m glad you’re taking time to enjoy the now. Your trip home sounds lovely! And your anniversary trip sounds awesome!! You’ve been so positive and productive and strong through the whole deployment so far! It definitely sucks- I can’t imagine being separated from my spouse for so long. It will eventually end, but I know that it 100% total sucks right now and I hope the remaining time flies by for you! <3

  2. Sarah says:

    So much going on in your life!! I’m so happy for you that you had some quality time in NY and with your family and friends (that mom selfie is amazing).

    I also really appreciate the real talk you said about other people saying ‘deployment is flying by!’… I was definitely guilty of thinking that myself right before I read that paragraph… but I wasn’t thinking about how it probably wasn’t flying by for YOU. I’m sorry it sucks and I’m sorry you can’t talk to Nick. I can’t even imagine how difficult that must be 🙁 I wrote a post yesterday about my own experience with long distance relationships and as I was writing it I realized how much it actually bothers me when other people make statements on LDRs… like ‘it must be so hard’ … basically either way, whether it is positive or negative, it bothers me haha! My biggest pet peeve is when people say ‘wow that must be so hard’, because I’m like, ‘yes. obviously it is hard. stop rubbing it in. do you think I don’t know that?’ But like you said, it can also suck when other people assume things are easy and going well. Ultimately, I think everyone is different and it’s better to LISTEN and ask questions than to make statements about other people’s relationships. What do you think?

  3. kristen says:

    i am with you on wishing people would think before they speak, i just try and remind myself that though they don’t understand, they are trying and mean well.. doesn’t help with my situation but it adds more upset to an already upset situation, you know.
    ahhh NZ and Aus! How exciting!! Where y’all going in Oz?

  4. Ashley says:

    I can’t even imagine going from having a full house, or at least having people around, to an empty house. But at least you’re having a friend coming to visit, and you also have some friends that are also on deployment with you, right? All of you military spouses are such Wonder Women and Men, I seriously don’t know how y’all do it during deployment, and with all of the other stressors that come with military life, like picking up and moving every couple of years.

    But at least you do have something to look forward to, a big anniversary and trip! I’m seriously thinking about also doing a trip to NZ and Australia for our 10 year anniversary in 2020, so I can’t wait to get recommendations and to read about what y’all do!

  5. SMD says:

    I’m glad you got time with your people!

  6. Rachel G says:

    So glad you’ve been able to spend time with family and friends, although I can only imagine how it weighs on you to be apart from Nick for so long! Planning your big trip for when he comes back is a good idea! I’d love to go to New Zealand and Australia someday!

  7. Jen says:

    I am so glad that you were able to have this time with friends and family! It’s so special.

  8. Rachel says:

    Yay for coming to Australia! And NZ is beautiful too, obviously. If you fancy meeting up for a coffee IRL, let me know when/where you’ll be in Australia and we’ll try to make it happen.

    I’m so impressed with how you are approaching this deployment, you really are working on making it the best experience it can be for you. I mean I get it sucks regardless, but I think a lot of people would be tempted to sit around and mope but you’re not doing that. That takes a real strength of character!

  9. Emma says:

    This sounds like such a lovely break at home – and the best possible way to spend it!

  10. I’m so happy that you are getting to visit home and spend time with family during a tough deployment! It must be a nice reprieve.

    Do you guys know when you’ll be leaving Hawaii?

    How cool that you’re going to NZ and Australia!!!

  11. I’m so glad you’re having such a good time with your family!

  12. Amanda says:

    It would be SO hard to not even be able to talk to Jordan for that long. I’m sure it’s so hard. BUT. I’m excited for your trip to Australia! That will be such a fun time together.

  13. Nadine says:

    It sounds like you got to have some fun with your mom and see some friends! That is awesome! I can’t even begin to imagine what you go through during deployment, and I am sure that people probably mean well when they say things…but they really shouldn’t say most things…you know? Planning your trip will hopefully pass the time a little for you, how exciting!

  14. jenn says:

    It is great that you have been able to get out and do so much, especially travel! You are welcome to share any of those deployment feelings you want with me. I’ve been there and when time feels like its standing still it makes it that much harder! Continued Prayers!

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